Dunny Door Wisdom
A gent was having a medical checkup and finally confessed that he went on binges. "How often?" asked the MD. "About once a month," answered the patient. And how long do they last?" "Around thirty days."
A pessimist sees the glass as half empty, an optimist
sees the glass as half full, an economist sees the glass as too large, an
alcoholic sees the glass as pointless.
The alcoholic's daily prayer..."So far today, God, I've
done all right. I haven't had a drink, haven't gossiped, haven't lost my temper,
haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty or self-centered. I'm really glad about that.
But in few minutes, God, I'm going to get out of bed, and then I'm going to need
a lot of help. Thank You."
The 12 Steps to Total and
Complete Insanity
1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing. We could manage
our lives perfectly and we could manage those of anyone else that would allow
it.
2. Came to believe that there was no power greater than ourselves, and the rest
of the world was insane.
3. Made a decision to have our loved ones and friends turn their wills and their
lives over to our care.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of everyone we knew.
5. Admitted to the whole world at large the exact nature of their wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to make others straighten up and do right.
7. Demanded others to either "shape up or ship out".
8. Made a list of anyone who had ever harmed us and became willing to go to any
lengths to get even with them all.
9. Got direct revenge on such people whenever possible except when to do so
would cost us our own lives, or at the very least, a jail sentence.
10. Continued to take inventory of others, and when they were wrong promptly and
repeatedly told them about it.
11. Sought through nagging to improve our relations with others as we couldn't
understand them at all, asking only that they knuckle under and do things our
way.
12. Having had a complete physical, emotional and spiritual breakdown as a
result of these steps, we tried to blame it on others and to get sympathy and
pity in all our affairs.